Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
