all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
