I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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