i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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