I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Are we still banned from the library?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
