that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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