If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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