We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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