Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
