I look better un-naked...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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