The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
