I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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