Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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