so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
