Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize