I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize