can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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