Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
