apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
