carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
God, I missed his penis.
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