god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
