We're like a lot better than the average bears
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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