I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
