I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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