we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
