I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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