cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
