I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I want to be your penis for a week.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
