get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm both gender and math confused
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
