She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
