Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
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