she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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