I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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