....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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