6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
