party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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