Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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