I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
