U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Did I show you my penis last night?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
