her vagine was all disorganized.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
