I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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