Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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