oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
