worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
