Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
