I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
