last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
