SEEEEXXX PLEASE
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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