foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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