Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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