THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
