We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
