You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
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