I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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