She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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