and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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