Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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