Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
