He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
