im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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