i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
