Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
