I hate your face
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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